Dedicated to my daughter with L.O.V.E.
May you come to understand your past and discover your future.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Virtual Time Capsule: Gina


Dearest Emma,

Happy 7th Birthday. You are such a beautiful little girl, on your way to becoming an amazing woman. I am so thankful to be a part of your life. You are always willing to give me the hugs and kisses I love. I know I always tell you that you are the baby girl I'll never have. That's my way
of saying I couldn't love you any more than if you were truly mine. One day you will look back and understand what that means. I hope you always let me stay involved in your life. I can see you with your first boyfriend, going on your first date while your mom and I give him the 3rd degree and Chris and Clayton mean mugging him, going to prom...maybe you'll let me help pick out your dress, graduating from high school, graduating from college, getting married, and having my grandbabies.

I want you to know that there is no right order to those events in your life. The Cal moms are all examples of accomplishing any dream you have at any time in your life. All things are possible for you. What matters most is believing in yourself and not letting other people tell you what you can or can't do.

Heaven forbid your heart ever be broken, but on that day remember we love you and I promise the pain does fade. I'll be there to hold your hand, hug you and cry with you. Your mom and I will sing "Pray For You" with you until we laugh through our tears. We'll have to hold Chris and Clay back because they'll want to kill the person who hurts their little sister.

Remember to be good to your mother. She is one of the most amazing, beautiful, intelligent, loving, wonderful, (there's not enough words or room to accurately describe her) people I know. She loves you more than you could ever imagine and has always tried her hardest for you. Everything she has done has been to provide a better life for you. I know you two will bump heads and fight but always remember she is doing what she believes is best for you. She has experienced more life than you and is just trying to protect you as much as she can. Tell her you love her everyday!

Lastly always remember that I'm here for you anytime of day or night. I'd like to think we'll just be walking distance, but as life happens it may be a little farther. I will never be too busy for you. You can come stay with us whenever you want. Just like you do now. When I get my own house there will be a room for you to come stay. Don't ever be embarrassed to ask me for anything or tell me anything. I love you so much.

P.S. You know how much I love Country music and I always find songs that fit the occasion. So today's song for you is "My Wish" by Rascal Flatts.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Grandma's Heart

Dear Emma,

Just a quick word to share a little somethin' somethin' with you about my visit to granny's yesterday. So, we were surfing the internet, and I shared with her some of the notes that I have been writing to you. As I read, she had such joy in her heart. And guess what?? She was all teary eyed and demanded that "I" write you something from her, she said she is better with actions than with words. But I think, if she were to pour out everything that she feels for you, and everything that you mean to her, she'd be too overcome with emotion to write. It was so cute. I think she didn't think I noticed, but I called her out, and she smiled from the inside out.


Saturday, June 5, 2010

Virtual Time Capsule: Auntie Traci


Welcome to 7 years on this Earth! Or maybe I should be thanking the universe for delivering you to so many lives and to one of the best Mamas I know.

Your Mama has asked a few of us to put in writing what you mean to our lives, and to provide you any advice we feel you could use during your lifetime and personally, I think it’s one of the most beautiful she could give you. The gift of love and admiration. And you get it in writing! What more can a girl ask for?

I didn’t quite know what to say before because, unfortunately, I don’t really get to spend that much time with you. But the more I thought about it, if I were to just speak on the person that you are, I would have to say that you are a very unique little person. I love your individuality and the way that you communicate so freely. And…hey, that honesty is right up there with the best of them. I asked if you would be bored spending the night at my house with just the two of us hanging out and you replied, “yes”, with a slight giggle. When I popped up on you last Sunday you didn’t seem overly excited that I’d intercepted your alone time with Mommy, but you gave me a hug anyway and even made me a few barrette designs [I’m smiling at the thought]...You are honest in all that you do BE DAMNED! And you know what? That is exactly how you should be. Don’t compromise who you are for anyone. Look them in the face, with those big brown eyes and give ‘em the truth, girl. Take those little girl ways you have with all the power they hold and carry them into womanhood with you because they will assist you as you navigate your way through life. Not to say that this journey will be traveled alone. Just the fact that your Mama has several of us submitting words of love, on your behalf, shows that you have many people ready, willing, and able, to speak volumes of love, about the little Princess. You are so loved and I hope you always know that. You have accumulated a lot of adoptive family that would be there at the drop of a hat, should you need it. That is always. Not fly by night, just 2010, just today, just tomorrow. It’s ALWAYS. Remember that during the important times because being a girl – wait, a smart | beautiful girl, is NOT easy. There will be many along the way that will want to take your strength, attempt to silence you, and some that might even leave you feeling like you have to dumb down to have them in your space. Release them into the atmosphere…with the QUICKNESS because it’s vital that you surround yourself with the healthiest of people – MIND | BODY | and SPIRIT.

As of this writing, I am making a promise to spend more time in your space so that you can know with everything in you, that the words here are sincere.



Friday, June 4, 2010

Virtual Time Capsule: Miriam


One day, if our paths decide to change, you may not think of me anymore. There may be a time when you may not remember me; when I might be a foggy part of a distant childhood memory. One day you may come across a picture and ask “who IS that?” and not remember my currently familiar face.

But if you ever feel sad and alone remember this: I loved you then, I love you now, and will always love you. Even when you pass from a child to woman, even through your mistakes and many successes, through your joys and pains, you will always have a special place in my heart. You are not even seven, but your joy, your unwavering curiosity, your outspokenness, your courage to always be yourself, and most of all, your ability to love inspire me.

I hope you know just how much love surrounded you, surrounds you still, how much you mean to those around you, how much you mean to me. But most of all, I hope you never doubt yourself, I hope you always find reasons to smile, I hope you don’t cower from pain, but rather learn from it.

I know you will grow to be an amazing woman. Emma, I have no doubt that you will find your own happiness and live your life without regrets. I hope I get to stay near to watch you grow. But if distance ever separates us, you do not have to remember me; just know that I, like many others, love you still.

<3 Miriam

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Beyond Biology


Dear Emma,

Your capacity for love knows no limits. You comfortably accept love and give love to the people around you. Your magnetic spirit has the ability to make babies smile, and my heart grow. Over the weekend, we helped to celebrate a woman you've found to be pivotal in your life. To you, there is nobody like your Gina, and nobody like her two sons, whom you view as your brothers. To be banished from their lives would bring an end to your world. Yeah, they are a VERY big deal - correspondingly like the few other pivotal friends of ours who have morphed into family. Relationships like these are few in a lifetime, and I am grateful that you are experiencing them early on.


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